Work It Out - Choosing a Gym

Fact - few decisions in life are more complicated than choosing the perfect gym. When I was living in New York last winter, I decided that 2011 was my year to get fit. I joined New York Sports Club on a whim after having lunch with my mom. The year contract and $91 price tag scared me. What if my health kick lasted only three weeks as had happened so many times before? What if my internship ended and I couldn’t afford the hefty price tag? What if I moved away from the city and couldn't travel to the gym anymore? Turns out 2 of these three scenarios did happen in one form or another. I did move back to NJ, and my internship did end. But lucky for me, I stuck to my plan and started a new job in the city so getting to the gym was not challenging. I have consistently been going to NYSC four days a week for over a year now.

I definitely enjoy my gym. I attend Nina's Spin class on Tuesday evenings religiously…my entire office knows when it’s "Spin night." I run on the treadmills, use the free weights, master the stair climber, and have enjoyed a free personal training session. But the price is a little high for my “I have no money to spare” budget, and not having gym access on the weekends is less than ideal.

With that said, I made a call to the local health club in my new town, The Atlantic Club, to see what their membership plans consisted of. Anyone who knows this club (there’s another branch in Manasquan, NJ) knows that it is top of the line, and very pricy. When I made the call, I was informed that they had a nights and weekends membership for people just like me - commuters. The price is $79 per month, $11 cheaper than my current spend, and the club is a billion times nicer. I can enjoy spin and yoga on weekends, and run to the club from my apartment when the weather is nice. I’ll be sad to leave my rocking Spin class at NYSC, but I’m sure I will be more than satisfied with the three different Spin classes held at my new club. I am hoping this will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Some things to look for when choosing a gym...

· Cleanliness is next to Godliness – Clean equipment, towels, locker rooms. It can never be too clean.

· Speaking of locker rooms – is the set up nice and safe for your belongings?

· Amenities – Sauna? Steam room? Daycare for people who have children?

· Group Fitness – If this is your thing, make sure there are enough classes available during the times you will be enjoying the gym. That 8 am yoga class is great, but not if it’s only held at 8am on Tuesdays and you leave for work at 7.

· Staff – Friendly, helpful? I love becoming friendly with the staff – they will always take care of you.

You will never go to the gym if you hate everything about it. Do the research, and hopefully 2012 will be your year to get fit. Now stop reading and go to the gym!

Wear Sunscreen, Kids!

Since I've been so focused on health and wellness lately, I'm turning this post into a public service announcement: WEAR SUNSCREEN! May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month, and I have encountered my own health scare in the past few weeks. I have been watching an irregular mole on my stomach for several months when I decided to have it checked out before summer arrived. The mole turned out to be pre-cancerous. My dermatologist removed the mole and good skin around it on Monday, and I now have 3 inches of stitches below my left breast bone.

I would never let vanity get in the way of my health, so this procedure was a no brainier. The scar that will inevitably stay behind once the stitches are removed and the wound is healed will serve as my own daily reminder to wear sunscreen (and reapply often) whenever I am outside. Not only did "Tanorexic Mom" prove how truly unattractive tanning is, it's dangerous. I think back to the hours I sprawled out on the beach and in tanning beds (what was I thinking?!), and the burns I've received in the process. It's never worth it. Pale skin is beautiful - and will keep you looking younger with less wrinkles. We need to embrace our natural selves. I'm never going to have a sexy, summer tan, and for the first time, I don't want one. Summer is right around the corner, so be good to yourself! I'll still see you at the beach. I'll just be the chick with the floppy hat and SPF 30 in her hands at all times.

Forget Summer, It's Race Season!

I did it…again! On Sunday, I completed my second half marathon with a personal record of 2:05:37. I am so proud of myself. What has worked best for me on my journey to fit girl status has been goals. Several goals. I need to be working toward something or else I lose motivation. So I schedule races on my calendar, races that I cannot run without training, to help me lace up those running shoes after work. The goal is always just to finish, but beating my first half marathon time of 2:15 was an awesome feeling.

The start of summer marks the beginning of race season. Racing is simply addicting. People line up along the course and cheer you on, making sure you don't give up on yourself. Running is 80% mental, so this energy is so important when you hit that wall at mile 11. I’m so excited to see how I compare to last year’s races, and I’m hoping to compete in a few new ones. A triathlon has been on my to-do list for the last 10 months, and of course, I'll be running the Marine Corp Marathon this October. 2012 is the year! Racing also completely changes your diet and how you treat your body. You start preferring fruits and veggies over burgers and fries and hot yoga sessions over binge drinking. It’s such a perk! What are your health and wellness goals this year? The couch to 5k challenge is the hottest thing right now. Give it a try, and I’ll see you at the start line!  

Let’s talk first jobs

Last June, I left the intern world and started my current position with my company…my first “real” job. I have been full time for almost eleven months now and with my company for more than a year and a half. Where has the time gone? My mind still thinks that come June 20th, I’ll be walking Bay Head beach again. As most of you remember, I graduated college with a BA in English – which essentially means, I am qualified to do nothing…well I can read and write. Yay. So needless to say, there have been LOTS of challenges with my new job. New industry, new systems, new rules (you can’t wear leggings as pants to work?).

During the first four months, I went home every single day and said to anyone who would listen that my company was going to fire me. My family tried to tell me this was not true, but I was adamant. I was never going to get it. Then, the craziest thing happened. I got it. It all started to click one day. Almost one year later, I still have days where I have no clue what to do next. I still have days where I sit back in my chair and sigh at my computer screen. But then the woman in the cube next to me states, as if on cue, “I feel you, Katie” (I love that she calls me that), and I don’t feel as miserable as I did five seconds before. She’s been working in this industry for years! We all have those days. The days where we want to walk outside and never come back; the days where we want to tell the person yelling on the phone where he can go. But we do come back (most of the time.) A couple deep breaths (and yoga poses in your cubical) can make it all a little better.

So to all of you newbies in the working world, I feel you. It can be terrifying and so overwhelming you could cry, but then the fog clears and things hopefully become a little brighter.

Meatless Mondays – Post 1

Meatless Mondays seem to be the new trend with health and wellness magazines. Not only is eating less meat better for the environment, it can also improve your health and shake up your menus if you’ve been in a meal rut (not chicken again). I’ve been eating meat much less frequently lately, and I decided to do my own meatless posts to help those who may want to try vegetarian or vegan friendly meals, but aren’t sure where to start. Feel free to send me your recipes as well – I love adding to my collection!

Black beans, corn and salsa lettuce wraps, a sweet potato, and green beans.

I made these wraps last night – quite possibly the simplest meal in the world. This is a variation of a black bean and salsa chicken recipe I cook from time to time, but in all honesty, I didn’t even miss the chicken. The lettuce adds a cool, crisp taste to the meal, but you can use whole-wheat wraps as well.  

Ingredients

1 can black beans, drained and rinsed

1 cup frozen corn

1 cup salsa

4 large romaine lettuce leaves

1 sweet potato (I use half for dinner and half for lunch the next day)

1 package of Steamers Whole Green Beans

Cinnamon

Simply combine the black beans, corn and salsa in a saucepan on low heat until warm (5-8 minutes). Place the washed lettuce leaves on a plate (pat dry) and when the bean mixture is heated, scoop onto the leaves. In the meantime, cook one sweet potato and steam the green beans. I cook both in the microwave (potato setting for the sweet potato and I follow the bag directions for the green beans), but of course, you can cook both in an oven and on the stove respectively. Sprinkle the potato with cinnamon, and enjoy!

Your yummy vegan dinner is served. 

Change is Good

I’ve updated my life lately, and with these changes, I’ve decided to begin blogging once more. I’ve missed it! So much has a changed; a new job, a slightly new body, a new apartment, a new outlook on life. But one must never become too complacent, and so on to the next journey…whatever it may be. I’m running my second half marathon next weekend and have signed up to run the Marine Corp Marathon in October. I moved to Red Bank, NJ – a town Smithsonian Magazine has named the third best small town in the nation! – and have spent the last few weekends familiarizing myself with all the shops and restaurants surrounding me. I’ve completely changed my diet and lifestyle to ensure that my body and mind are the best they can be, and have lost 15 pounds in the process and have never felt more at peace. Speaking of peace, I inked myself for the first time this past winter – a peace sign is now printed on my left foot. A friendship tat that my best friend and I share, but also a daily reminder of Gandhi’s famous quote, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” I have changed almost every facet of my life in the last twelve months, and I hope to take these lessons I have learned and send them out into the world. We all spend so much time searching for our purpose. I believe it’s as simple as sending love to others. So glad to be back.

Resolutions...In November

A friend of mine the other day tweeted that she was starting her New Years Resolutions now, so that by the time January 1st rolls around, they will be formed habits. It was at that moment that I realized in my 22 years, I had finally done something I had never done before – stuck to a New Years Resolution.

Every year I tell myself that I will lose a few pounds and try some fun, new activity (photography, skiing, painting), and every year I work out for approximately three weeks and avoid leaving my comfort zone. This past year on January 1st, I made a resolution to start running, and I mean really running, and in the process I lost more than a few pounds (go me!) and finished my first half marathon this past October. Last weekend, I completed a 5-mile Turkey Trot, my sixth race this year. I’m proud of myself for proving myself and other naysayers wrong and competing in what I thought was the impossible.

It’s not about “How skinny can I get?” although jean shopping is now a guilty pleasure, but how hard can I push myself and how will I be rewarded for my efforts. I have a new connection with my body – every muscle, tendon, and bone feels different to me now. I eat foods based on how they will assist me in performance. You try running a 10k after a night of drinking and see how you feel; or running on a sugary cereal breakfast. It just does not work. Egg whites, spinach, oatmeal, fruits, veggies and lean meats make my body feel good. Cheese, greasy fast food, pizza and ice cream make my body feel lousy. And what the body wants, the body gets, especially when that half marathon I ran in 2:15 has motivated me to run my next half in under two hours.

So in keeping with my friend’s idea of early planning, my 2012 New Years Resolutions are to run my second half marathon AND my first full marathon…Let the training begin!

Who Knew I Was Such A Feminist?

The other night I received a 3 am (so I guess the other morning) phone call from a guy I had gone on one date with two months ago. I chose not to answer the call since I probably would have yelled obscenities I would later regret. It was Saturday morning, the first time all week I could sleep soundly through the night with no alarm clock, and I am tossed from my slumber by a loud ringing on my IPhone – I know, my fault for not silencing the phone. I was hesitant to respond in the morning since the communication we had previously shared had not gone well…

He contacted me three days after our date to say “Happy your people’s day” on St. Patrick’s Day, I wrote back a cheery thank you. Asked me a week later why I hadn’t blogged about our date. I wrote back that I kept some things private…until now, of course. He responded one day later “Want to see each other again?” I responded with a “sure” but that he didn’t seem too eager to see me since two weeks had passed since our last date. He responded 24 hrs later saying his family had been in town. I “forgot” to answer him.

But curiosity got the best of me, and I thought perhaps I had written this guy off too soon. Why else would he think it was okay to call me at 3am? We never did any of the things that people usually do at 3am, so I thought naively, “maybe he’s just up late and wants to chat.”(How many of you are rolling your eyes right now?) I text him when I woke up and asked if he needed to be bailed out of jail – another plausible explanation. He apologized for the call and stated his reasoning was that “my friends were in town and asked if I knew a cute redhead.”

Huh…That’s why you called?!

I was immediately turned off, but couldn’t quite figure out why. He had done this before we met each other too. When we had started chatting on OkCupid, one of his first comments was, “You’re cute!” My response was to change the subject. I wasn’t sure exactly what my problem was until I started to work it out in my head. At first I thought it was a self image problem. “Don’t call me cute, because I’m not” sort of deal, but that wasn’t it. Looks are important in any relationship – it’s a fact that you must be slightly attracted to someone for there to be chemistry. However, at least in my world, there is so much more to a person and it’s that extra “stuff” that I fall for. I’ve liked other guys in the past. Head over heels, infatuated, dressed up, put make-up on and straightened my hair so he’d notice me liked guys. And I found them attractive. Very attractive. But they were also smart, sweet, funny, caring, creative, motivated guys. The attraction grew from all of those other great qualities.

So turns out I don’t enjoy being objectified (Apologies if anyone has stopped reading because they feel I’m being over dramatic.) This person had met me once. He knew nothing about me, and when his buddies came over and asked for a “cute” redhead, he called one up not caring that he had never offered to take her out again and not caring that he was probably waking her up. I know, he was drunk blah blah blah. What exactly did they think would happen? The cute redhead was going to put on her shoes and come over for a group hug? I’m sure he didn’t realize he had offended me, and I played it off. I kept chatting like the nice, easy going girl I pretend to be, and when he left the conversation with no need for me to respond, I didn’t. I won’t see this person again. I considered it before, but now the chemistry is gone, my annoyance would probably be apparent and there are just too many fish in the sea (note square peg, round hole metaphor from a few posts back.)

When Life Gives You Lemons...

I’ve been keeping some important news to myself for quite a while, but figured it was time to share. The truth shall set you free, no? My internship, which has given me so much over the past 8 months including hands on experience and great networking opportunities, is ending on June 17th with no full time position in sight. If that weren’t enough, my apartment’s lease is up on May 30th and since I do not potentially have a job after mid-June, I could not take over the lease from my roommate who is moving out of the city to pursue career opportunities. I am so very fortunate to have family so close and will be moving back home to New Jersey for the summer (Almost as if I’m still a college student…ah the memories.) I could spend time, energy and money searching out apartments in need of roommates on Craig’s List, but without a job in sight, this is just not practical. And Craig’s List kinda scares me.

I also need to begin saving again. I know that when you live in a big city at the age of 22, you are expected to scrape by living on spaghettios, but frankly, I haven’t been able to seriously enjoy New York since moving here. With rent, transportation fees, utilities and groceries ($7 for a box of Apple Cinnamon Cheerios? Really, Gristedes?), I have been unable to participate in all of the things I love most about this wonderful city: Broadway shows, fancy restaurants, museums, cab rides, shopping and so much more. I could never leave for long, so I promise the world this is a temporary arrangement (especially since I have been on several internal interviews with different segments of my company – I’m sure something will work out!), but until I save a little money, land the full time, salaried position and have the ability to live in the city AND eat out a few times a week, I will be calling NJ home once again.

I’m disappointed with the situation, but not with myself. In all honesty, I would have been traveling home every weekend of the summer to soak in the Jersey Shore rays anyhow, so this isn’t a tragedy. There is a part of me that wants to be able to do all of this on my own. Moving back in with my parents seems like a step in the wrong direction, but I keep telling myself that now I will have the money to take a writing course on the side and will be able to buy a new pair of shoes from time to time. Some pressure has been removed. For all I know, I could have a new position starting June 20th and what a happy thing that will be, but I will still stay home for a little while in order to make sure I can get the most out of my salary. In this economy, I know I’m not alone, and that’s a good feeling. Unfortunately, job security for the under 25 crowd is not promising. So Mr. President, Excellent job on killing Bin Laden. If you could now work on the economic crisis facing our nation, that would be great. I’d like to be able to move out for good some day. I think my parents would like that too.

The Lady's Got Potential

Please forgive the "Evita" reference in the title - I couldn't help myself. I’m currently reading “Bossypants” by Tina Fey – I love reading memoirs by powerful, smart women. Kelly Cutrone, Ivanka Trump, Tina Fey; all of these women have the common factor of great success, so I read their books hoping their ambitions and motivations will hop off my Kindle and into the section of the brain that gets things done. Of course, reading their words is only the first baby step. I doubt Hillary Clinton or Condoleezza Rice got to where they are today by reading lots of books about other accomplished women – they went out into the world to write their own stories (both of which have 352 pages each in their Hardcover books. Do you think Condi was trying to one up Hil?) Anyway, I always get the urge to go out and change the world after reading a good memoir about working your way to the top. They also make me feel like I’m not doing enough (in a “push yourself harder” way). Kelly lived in the crack den that was Times Square in the early 90’s sleeping on the couches of people she hardly knew. Ivanka, with the Trump name in tow, got her MBA from Wharton, and Tina, well, we know all that Tina has done and continues to do (She’s my favorite “Hollywood”, although I would call her much more New York, lady of the moment).

At the end of one of the chapters of “Bossypants,” Tina writes after “stealing” an office job from a coworker, “That makes me sound like a jerk, I know. But remember the beginning of the story where I was the underdog? No? Me either.” The minute I read that quick paragraph, I knew I needed to write about it. Because although I’ve haven’t come to the point where I have stolen a job from a co-worker, I’m sure the day will come. It’s all in the nature of the business. I was watching an episode of Dexter last night that was titled “Take it!” The episode focused on going after what you want in order to make yourself whole. I then watched Modern Family (I know, too much TV), and Claire gave a quick speech about how you should grab what you want and not worry about the consequences. I felt like God was sending me some sort of message. Your desires are there for the taking, but the “winners” in life are those who do what they need to in order to get ahead. Now, I won’t be killing anyone or doing any unsavory “favors” anytime soon, but I like the determination of not letting setbacks, people or situations stand in your way.

What I want is success. And I intend to achieve it. Who knows, maybe I’ll be the next Tina and write/produce/star in a hit NBC show; Maybe I’ll start a PR firm like Kelly; Maybe I’ll get into Real Estate and market towering buildings to Dubai like Ivanka; Maybe I’ll become Editor in Chief of a major fashion magazine where people write books that turn into movies about me like Anna; Maybe I’ll run for President someday like Hillary (hopefully without the philandering husband by my side). Either way, I won’t be sitting in a cube for the rest of my life inputting numbers into a spread sheet. I see now that realizing your full potential is the ultimate form of liberation.

I hope all of you will also figure out what you want out of life and take it. I would rather have an entire planet of ambitious freaks than lazy couch dwellers living in their parent’s basement at the age of 30. Work hard, save money, spend it on things you want whether it be schooling, traveling, cameras, computers. Take the time to evaluate yourself and then go for it. What’s the worse that can happen? You fail a few times - That’s a million times better than doing nothing at all.

Weight Watchers: One Week Complete.

Today begins week two. I started Weight Watchers one week ago in hopes that I will finally lose the 10-20 pounds that have been following me around for ten years. I did Weight Watchers back in high school and lost about twelve pounds. Since then, I have probably put back on about four of those pounds. I work out very diligently so I am able to maintain without a problem. When I injured my tendon, I was unable to work out but was eating the same foods I had been eating before: A bag of peanut mm’s as an afternoon work snack from time to time, Tostitos and Queso when the mood struck and lots and lots of bread. Change was needed!

Working full time was the worst thing to happen to my waistline since they came out with double stuffed Oreos. I work in a building with many sales executives who host client meetings 3-4 times a week. They always have the meetings catered and there are always lots and lots of leftovers. Many of the choices are healthy – side salads and fruit, but for breakfast there is an assortment of muffins and bagels with cream cheese (I would always grab half of a multigrain bagel with cream cheese thinking, “It's multigrain, how bad can it be?”) and for lunch sandwiches with who knows what would be available to pick at. Mind you, I would usually already have eaten breakfast or lunch and then there would be more. Saying no to free food has been difficult, but this last week, I have done so well just taking the fruit. No more bagels (10 pts?!), no more corn muffins (a trillion pts.) and no more sandwiches after already eating lunch.

Weight Watchers is such a good system. You can eat whatever you like, but you have a set number of points you shouldn’t go over in a day. Never fear – if you do, you have a bundle of “flex” points to last you the week as well. You can literally have your cake and eat it too, just not three days in a row. I had no idea how much I was eating on a daily basis until I was forced to calculate it. A 6-inch subway sandwich and baked BBQ chips puts me back 11 points for lunch (a solid meal), but a bag of peanut mm’s has the same amount of points as the Subway sandwich does (8). When I realized I could eat a healthy dinner and use the same amount of points as the candy, they became much less desirable. Fresh fruits and veggies are zero points – I can eat as many of those all day long as I would like. Of course, this isn’t fool proof. Sodium is not calculated and we all should be watching our sodium intake, and fruits have loads of carbs, so eating three bananas a day is probably not the best option. But it’s good to know what I should be eating and what I should be staying away from. It’s been an eye opening beginning.

Now we are on to week two. I weighed myself this morning and the number went down, so I know it’s working…slowly but surely (sorry, I won’t be reporting the results – that number has always been for my eyes only.) The box my new scale came in had a picture of the scale reading 124.5. How rude – but I guess it’s something to strive for? Maybe? I’m a very competitive person, so competing with myself will be a blast. How much food can I eat today without going over 29 points? It’s like the ultimate challenge. Tina Fey lost thirty pounds when she was in her twenties just starting out in comedy on Weight Watchers, and Jennifer Hudson lost, what, eighty?! Success is possible and I’m determined to win this battle once and for all. Wish me luck!

I'm A Big Girl Now

I turned 22 on Wednesday. Where does the time go? I remember a morning, not so long ago, when I was laying in my bed in my house across town from where my parents live now. My mom walked in and said “Happy Birthday, you’re double digits!” – I had hit the age of 10. I also remember coming home from school and blasting “Sweet Sixteen” by Hilary Duff in my garage on my 16th birthday. I guess I remember birthdays in six year increments. Alas, I am now 22. No longer able to say I’m a child; No longer able to say I’m 21. Sigh.

I had a lovely birthday. My parents took me out to dinner at a great Mexican restaurant and surprised me with an IPhone. The surprise actually came four hours before when my dad called and said, “Can you live without your cell phone for four hours?” I had a hunch something was in the works. I was thrilled. It’s my new favorite thing. I am an Apple junkie and have been waiting for Verizon to get the IPhone for forever and a day. All night long, I kept repeating to my family and friends the commercial on TV right now… “If you don’t have an IPhone, well, you don’t have an IPhone.” I’ve been living by that motto for months. And now I am one of the millions of happy people.

The last year has gone by so fast. I hear that’s what happens the older you get. Then before you know it, you’re forty staring into the mirror wondering how life passed by so quickly. For the first time, I’m completely content with my age. I can stop now. No need to go any higher. I actually became a little nervous when I realized that in 363 quick days, I will be 23. People get married at 23 and it’s not weird. Women have babies at 23 and it’s not frowned upon. Lives are serious at 23. Well, for some people – for others, not so much, but I still feel as if this is the beginning of actual adulthood. And it’s a little frightening.

I shouldn’t be as shocked as I am that I am approaching my mid twenties. I live on my own and have a job, but the job is an “internship” and the apartment has a lease that is ending soon (TBD on whether I will take it over.) My parents still drive me home and buy me groceries when I come to visit – I can’t be a grown up. Unfortunately, my biological make up disagrees and here I stand. I always attempt to make each year better than the last. This will definitely be a difficult challenge this year. I hit some major milestones at 21; I legally was able to drink, graduated college, got a job in New York and moved there too. I’m not sure if 22 can top that, but I will try like hell to make it happen. Hey, I got an IPhone. Maybe that was the first step.

Down But Not Defeated...

Hello Friends – I’ve been out of commission for the last couple of weeks…literally! My running adventures have been put on hold thanks to Post Tibial Tendonitis in my right leg. The post tibial is the tendon that runs down the inside of your leg and into your foot. I have my third physical therapy session tomorrow morning and am well on my way to getting stronger. After a very painful deep tissue massage during my last session, I am aware of how much damage I could have done had I not went to the doctor. “No pain no gain” is not always true. Luckily I caught my problem just in time. No torn ligaments, just lots of muscle damage. And I will spend the next 4-6 weeks (ugh!) working hard to get better.

On the bright side, my physical therapist said I wouldn’t be sidelined all 4-6 weeks. I will run again and hopefully it will be very soon! In fact, I have registered for my first half marathon this September. I have plenty of time to heal and train, and I will be running better than ever before I know it. This sort of setback, which has sidelined me from the gym as well (no elliptical, no spin), has unfortunately put me in a bitter mood the last week or so. Working out has always been my very own anti-depressant pill in sweat form. I need those endorphins to help alleviate worries, stress and anxiety. The weather was so beautiful today and all I wanted to do was lace up my running shoes and join the hundreds of others I saw jogging through Central Park. But alas, I will wait. My time will come and until then I will focus on stretching, eating right, and today I got the clearance to do a little light biking. Baby steps.

Since I’m on a health kick right now, I’ll share with you a frightening statistic I read yesterday on Yahoo! Health. This article stated that people who work at jobs that require them to sit most of the day (so many of us!) are 54% more likely to die of heart attacks. Depressing statistic? I think so! Needless to say I spent the rest of my day walking to get water as often as possible and standing when it was unnecessary for me to sit (on phone calls, while making spreadsheets…people were definitely starting to stare. Eh, I’ll live longer.) I decided then and there that my future cannot include cubical work – or at least not without a stand for my computer. I need to write standing or have a job that has me walking all day long. Maybe I’ll become a flight attendant…or a dog walker.

When I leave work, I often go home and sit in my hard desk chair, on my bed or on the couch flipping through twitter, my emails, and the daily news – that is too much sitting in one day for a person. Even a walk or a trip to the gym (sad face) can’t reverse nine hours of sitting. My next purchase will have to be a standing desk. While searching for such a desk online (they are not as common as you would think), I came across this NY Times article that informed me I am behind the times. Written in August of last year, the author states that standing work stations, while odd and challenging to come across, are in vogue. Not only are you able to cure writer’s block while standing, but you also burn more calories. Hopefully a day will come when movable desks are the norm in the workplace, but until then, I’ll be standing awkwardly in my cube.

Online Dating: Time for a Cooling Off Period.

I tried. I really did. And now it may be time for a little break. You know the oft spoken line, “It’s not you, it’s me” and how we never believe it? Suuuurrre it’s not me. Well, this time, I’m serious: It really is me, not them (sort of). I got bored of online dating. It seemed like a lot of work to reach for something I’m not sure I completely want right now. Maybe when I’m thirty and still sleeping in my queen size bed alone will I decide that scourging the internet is the best way to find a man (maybe at 35?), but right now, a short month before my 22nd birthday, I love being single. I’m not sure if it’s the potential for nice weather, the drive I’m feeling in my career or the fact that I have all these weird quirks that I don’t feel like sharing with another person, but I’ve never been happier than I am right now at this moment. I’m on top of the moon, and I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve never felt so in control of my own life before. Why would I want to share the power just when I’ve found it?

Searching in this interesting online pool, I did discover a lot of things about myself. I learned I can decipher the difference between ideals and reality. I went on a few dates with a nice guy who made it very clear early on that he was not looking for anything serious. I won’t lie; a little part of me was nervous that I would become attached with Mr. unavailable – after all, in the movies it always works out. Carrie landed Mr. Big, didn’t she? But guess what, it never happened – I never got hooked. Me, Miss hopeless romantic, Miss has watched The Notebook so many times she can quote it, Miss Sex and the City episodes tell the story of her life, Miss wanted to be married since she was six and put a pillow case on the back of her head, did not start pining for the number one type of man you should never pine for. We had our fun, we moved on – it was perfect. And I learned that I enjoyed just having fun. I had my life, he had his, and I didn’t ever want to cross the two – who knew Kate could be this easy going? Not me, that’s for sure.

I also learned a little more about what I want out of life, and for now, a serious relationship does not make the cut. I have termed my relationship status as "chronically single" for many years now. I’m that girl, the single friend. Always have been, and hopefully always won’t be. But I made it sound like a disease – “chronically.” Now, I consider myself happily single...and even better, choosing to be single. I found myself working hard to schedule people into my life I wasn’t sure I even liked, and I began to really miss my free and focused single life. I enjoyed coming home to my home, just for me (and my roommate, of course). I love that I have my own space, my own life, my own time to do whatever I please. I’m sure with the right person, all of this will go out the window – I’ll want to see him constantly, talk with him daily and be together as much as possible, which brings me to the most important thing I’ve learned…

I do not have to waste my time forcing a square peg inside a round hole. If it doesn’t fit, it’s not going to. End of story. The right guy will be the right guy, and up until now, I’ve been focusing my energy on the wrong guys. I’m too selfish at this point in my life to waste my time waiting around for some boy to call, or text, or tweet (whatever it is we do nowadays). I don’t play games – I never had the time for them. I believe it doesn’t take that much time to feel the chemistry necessary to build a relationship, so I will stop trying to force it. Online dating has helped me see that I know what I want, I know what I don’t want and I know what I’m willing to put up with – and right now, that’s not a lot. Jobs, apartments, friendships and baby cousins celebrating their first birthdays mean more to me than something that just wasn’t fun anymore.

Of course, I won’t quit completely. I’m sure I’ll leave my profile up and even take a peek from time to time. The act of dating should be fun. It should not feel like my other job. So I think I’m going to try the old fashioned way for a bit. I’m going to enjoy my family, friends and life; I’m going to go to the museums and read in the park and see the Broadway shows I’ve been dying to see, and if Mr. Right happens to be in the Starbucks at the same time I am, well then what a fun spring surprise. If not, I have plenty to keep me occupied. This is New York after all – that’s a pretty reciprocal relationship in itself.

L and K Take New York

I have been MIA yet again – sometimes a little internet detox is a good thing. And I have been so busy! This past weekend, my former roommate L came to visit me. We had such a blast and enjoyed New York the way I love to – the non-tourist way…Well, sort of. L flew in on Thursday (St. Patrick’s Day) and met me at my building. I took a half day on Thursday and off on Friday and we never stopped moving till I sat down at my desk this morning.

Thursday, the holiday heard round the world from all of the drunken people on the planet, was spent “pub crawling.” We hopped more than crawled, but went to a few places in midtown I had never visited before. The Pig and Whistle, The Mean Fiddler, and the Blarney Stone (are the names Irish enough?) were all very good to us…well except for the bartender who kept charging L eight bucks for glasses of coke with a splash of rum in them. L tried to joke with the bartender on her second trip to the bar and said, “Can you put rum in it this time?” The look on the guy’s face made the beer in my stomach churn. I promptly looked the other way pretending not to know the girl asking the lethal question.

Friday was the most beautiful day of the year so far. The temperature was a high of 73 and the sun was bright and shining. It was Heaven! L and I made our way over to The Metropolitan Museum of Art where we walked around for several hours looking at medieval and Italian paintings and sculptures. L did ask me to take pictures of her posing as some of the statues…Like I said, it was almost a tourist-free weekend. Friday night, L and I met my parents in midtown (it was so beautiful out that we decided to slowly walk from The Met to my dad’s office on 41st - 40+ blocks…and L thought she wouldn’t exercise on vacation) We all went down to Little Italy where we had the most fantastic meal sitting at a window that was opened wide and looked out onto Hester St – it was as if summer had come early. We ended the night at South Street Seaport sipping cocktails overlooking the East River and chatting about life – it’s nice that we’ve finally hit an age where we enjoy spending time with the parents.

We began Saturday by going to the Seinfeld Restaurant a few blocks from my apartment. They didn’t film there, but it is still cool to take photos outside and eat at a place that has been made famous by TV – and they make an awesome omelet. Saturday night was dedicated to the East Village. We discovered a few bars and decided to party it up NYU style. We wanted to go somewhere with a young college feel since that is where our friendship roots lie. After gin and tonics, rum and cokes, pizza with beer, and L dangerously sprinting across Broadway at 2am to hit up the McDonalds, we made it back home.

On Sunday, I woke up early and completed my first outdoor run of spring. Afterwards, L and I prepared to go see her first Broadway show – aptly titled “Chicago.” We had brunch (Sunday brunch is my favorite thing in the whole world) and then walked around the Theatre District stopping to take pictures with Daniel Radcliffe’s marquee for “How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying.” I’m pretty sure L enjoyed her first Broadway experience – I know I did! We went back to my apartment, ordered pizza, watched our school dominate George Mason and did some much needed relaxing. She left this morning and things are much quieter, but lonelier. I will miss my roommate very much and I was so happy I got to take New York with her. I hope my other three roommates come to visit soon because this weekend was so much fun – a repeat is necessary in the very near future!

Plan…Who Needs A Plan?

I will not plan. I will not plan. I will not plan. Help! Whatever you would like to call it (date, get together, snuggle session) number 3 is happening tonight with okcupid guy #1 and there is no plan in sight. He’s been very busy; I’ve been very busy; and so tonight is an “I’ll text you when I’m heading uptown” date…or whatever you would like to call it. I don’t do well in these situations. I need to plan EVERYTHING. What time will we go out? Where are we going? What will we do? It’s a good thing I’m an event intern, but this is exactly the type of obsessive behavior I have vowed to give up for Lent. It may have seemed trivial at the time, but when I see how my obsessive instincts start taking over my brain, I know that they are something I have to give up in order to better function in this unpredictable world.

I wish I could be the “go with the flow” girl. I’ve never been that girl. Ever. I pretend to be that girl from time to time. I say things like, “Oh sure, we’ll just wing it” as my chest begins to tighten. Some may find my idiosyncrasies endearing, but I’m sure most people just get annoyed. Who wants to receive a text that says…

“We could go see the movie at 9:45 or we could get coffee at 10:30 or we can just forget about tonight and grab appetizers a night next week. Does Wednesday work? Or we could just do drinks. Whatever.”

And that wasn't even an "I like you so I'm nervous" text. That's just me needing a plan. I’m surprised he still wants to see me after that. I may even judge him a little. Most guys say that they love the t-shirt and jeans girl who faces life as one big adventure. We all know that girl. I call her the Blake Lively type: The blonde, tan girl who likes to surf. I find that people who surf are easy-going individuals. I don’t know how to surf, and while the beach is lovely on a hot summer day, I prefer to live in the city. I’m the quintessential neurotic girl – A mental mix between Carrie Bradshaw and Monica Gellar sans the size 2 waists. I do a good job of hiding it at first, but if you’re going to hang around with me for a prolonged period of time, you will discover my secret.

So tonight, I will try my hardest to be Blake. I will workout, shower, get ready and go about my night not caring if he ends up texting me or not (even though I’ll be all ready to go somewhere at 10:30 p.m.….my usual bedtime on a work night.) Once he calls (assuming he does), I’ll go out into the night with no plan in mind. I’ll just be happy to have nice company and New York…even though it may rain. I’ll plan to bring an umbrella. I can at least plan that, right? This is going to be the longest 40 days of my life.

Religion: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

I will be the first to admit I am not the most ardent Catholic. Catholicism and I have had our issues. I like the idea of my religion – the large glamorous cathedral filled with people with similar beliefs saying the same words that have been said for hundreds of years (although now we say them in English, not Latin.) I like the idea of getting married in a large church with an officiating priest. I like the idea of giving my future children a moral foundation, a baptism, and a communion. I like the idea of eating the host every Sunday (although it always tastes like cardboard). Church always made me feel good when I left.

Then there are the things that create a wedge between Catholicism and myself. I don’t like the judgmental and discriminatory attitudes that the Catholic Church possesses. I don’t like how the church treats women and gays as secondary citizens. I don’t like how they do not allow their priests to marry (causing scores of abuse cases across the world.) I don’t like how the Pope decides every moral stance that “good” Catholics must abide by (Fun Facts: Did you know babies born via IVF cannot be baptized? Oh and birth control, while not completely accepted, is now slightly okay because of the AIDS epidemic.)

I am a very spiritual person. I do believe in God, and my God is a very loving, non-judgmental God who is forgiving of all of my bad choices and embraces my flaws. After all, God makes no mistakes, right Gaga? When I see all of the fighting and hatred plaguing this world in the name of God, it saddens me. God is about love, not hate. But it seems like religion has missed the mark. Catholics and Protestants are still killing each other in Ireland, Muslims hate the Jews, and the Westboro Baptist Church hates everyone, including dead soldiers and nine year-old girls. Where is the love, people?

With that said, I still get ashes on Ash Wednesday. Some would call me a “fair-weather” Catholic. You know who those people are – The Catholics that show up to church three times a year: Ash Wednesday, Easter and Christmas Eve/Day. Perhaps that is what I am, but I like the idea of Lent. I make sure I do not eat meat on Fridays (Does anyone else miss “Pizza Fridays” from when we were children?), and I give up something for 40 days in hopes that it will bring me closer to God. Usually I just give up chocolate or ice cream hoping I will also lose ten pounds in the process, but this year, I want to give up more substantial things. My goal is to find a way to merge the things I do appreciate about the religion I’m not sure I want to keep and the things that I believe all religions are lacking, but are necessary to making the world a better place. So during this Lenten season, I want to give up negative, hateful and judgmental thoughts, obsessive behaviors, and worries (unless truly justified). Maybe this can be like a “pay it forward” experiment. I will become more carefree and loving and those I encounter will go on and be the same. This is New York, so it may be a challenge (we thrive on cynicism), but at the end of my 40 days (and why stop there?), perhaps I’ll feel a deeper connection with God, my family, my friends and the world.

How Much Info Is Too Much Info…

The dating world is full of questions. There are the favorites: "Does he like me?" and “Is this going anywhere?” There are the scary ones for later in the relationship: "Does he want to marry me?" and "When will I meet his mother?" Then there are the questions we ask ourselves very early on: “Who is this person?” “Will he kidnap me after dinner?” These are all important questions that need to be answered, but in this technological age we live in, when do the questions and the search for the answers need to end?

We are able to discover the origins and complete biographies of any person with the click of a mouse. Cyber stalking is nothing new, and most people do it – some with romantic prospects, some with job prospects. We expect to find a person with a credible past attached to a link when we hit the enter key – oh and a picture would be nice as well. The second I search for a person with no trace, new questions run through my mind: Is he a serial killer? Is he a foreign spy? Is he 16? Am I a rational 21st century female doing my homework in order to protect my heart and my bank accounts, or have we taken the mystery out of dating?

My mom and I were chatting earlier today and she said to me, “The only thing I worry about in this age of technology is that people can hide parts of who they are.” Her point was about online dating and going out with people you have zero connections to, but her overall statement was actually incorrect. I explained that back in her younger years, dating was much more secretive. You had no way of knowing if the guy you met at the bar was escaping parole or wanted for murder. Instead, you just hoped that your gut instinct would send you running the other way if red flags started to appear. We don’t have that problem today. If you Google “Katecferg” – which is my twitter name, blog and online dating screen name, All of those things pop up one right after the other. Even Perez Hilton pops up from when he “tweeted” me back in college. You can learn everything about me in .3 seconds.

Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker, “tweeted” (there’s that word again) yesterday, "Don’t go into deep details of your life on the first date." Keep it light and breezy, and later when you’re committed, you can chat about your dark past. I agree with the idea – go slow, but is this realistic for our time? Google is not just a website anymore; it’s a verb as well. Oh hey there, I “Googled” you. Technology has made our generation light years ahead of previous ones in so many ways, but when does it begin to hold us back as well? Is there really a “getting to know you” phase anymore? I read your online profile…and found your college essays online. What else do I need to know? There’s a disconnect somewhere, and perhaps it’s time for us to “disconnect” as well. Step away from the internet, trust our instincts and just go with it. A real life conversation will beat out a profile read through or an e-mail any day. And the getting to know you phase is the most exciting part.

The Big First Date...

Remember when I said I was going to blog all about my “okcupid” blind dates? Well, I’m not going to do that anymore. My reason is simple: When I eventually become facebook friends with these potential men, they are going to see that I blog, and when they see that I blog about them, they may not come around anymore. Everyone has a right to privacy. Also, I don’t kiss and tell. So from now on, only the bad dates will be reported in full detail (those suitors don’t have a right to privacy)…and my date on Friday went extremely well.

We connected, we had fun and we are planning on going out again this Thursday night. Success! Why did I put off online dating for so long? This first date was definitely an exception to a rule. Usually, meeting complete strangers in person after virtually no conversation online ends in awkwardness and a pint of ice cream on the couch at 2 am. I’m sure many future dates I go on (a girl has to leave her options open, right?) will not work out quite as nicely as this one did, but I’m not as nervous anymore. As long as I’m smart, what’s the worst that can happen? – Famous last words?

People are dating online now more than ever before. I went to dinner the other night with my friend from home and her boyfriend. Her college friend, who lives in the city, joined us and said she had joined a new dating site for NYU, Columbia and other Ivy and semi-Ivy league students called “Date my school.” And of course, because things always work this way, there was an article in yesterday’s Sunday Times all about this new exclusive dating site. I am unable to join because my .edu address is not welcomed (Hey, T – want to give me yours?). But it just goes to show that there are tons of new dating sites opening up to give young professionals more than just a “meet your soul mate” option like match.com and e-harmony. Date my school is specifically for students and recent graduates looking for others who are just as exceptional and career-focused as they are (I guess they assume that if you go Ivy, you’re automatically career driven. They can work out the problematic issues with such a thought process later.) Fact is it works. Some of us just want to date and are new to the city or too busy with school and work to find the time. Dating sites like these help us find matches that we normally wouldn’t find walking the streets.

This is the future. Some of us may still meet “the one” in a bar or in the prepared food aisle of the grocery store (Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker, keeps telling me to go there to meet eligible men), but for many of us, it’s much more about structure and planning and much less about the right place, right time scenario. I know my mother will read this and be sad for our generation. We are unable to communicate; we are all going to end up alone; but we’re working on it! We’re trying to adjust to our technological lives and if online dating is the way to do so, then by all means, let’s try every option at our disposal. Just don’t go to dinner with a stranger unless you’re certain you’ll enjoy the company. Dinner takes you past the point of no return and could end up being the longest two hours of your life.

Helping Others...Pass It On

Tonight I did something I’m very proud of. I attended my mandatory orientation for New York Cares, New York City’s largest volunteer organization. Since I’m new to the city and trying to meet new friends, I figured there was no better place to start than by joining like-minded individuals in bettering my new community. I love everything about this city, so why not help its people and its places. The orientation was quick and to the point. The team leaders highlighted all of the potential projects and talked about their personal experiences. I’m so excited to start reading to underprivileged children, feeding the hungry, talking to the elderly and planting trees in the parks.

I’ve had this urge to volunteer for quite sometime now. I think a small part of me just wants to get out of the apartment on weekends and meet new faces, but a larger part honestly knows how fortunate my life has been. I have a loving family that gave me the tools to succeed. I have great friends, a college degree, a job, and an apartment. I have food in my pantry, clothes in my closet, an i-pod sitting next to me, and I’m typing on a Mac laptop. I’ve never wanted for anything, really. Sure, I still can’t afford designer shoes, but there are people living on the streets that have no shoes at all, or coats, or a change of clothes or food to get them through the night. It’s heartbreaking. And I’ve seen a lot of it this winter.

The other day, the news reported a story about a 35-year old Irish homeless woman named Grace who died in her sleep while sleeping on the streets. She had come to NYC 18 years before to study art. She never succeeded and four days ago, she was found dead. Stories like these break my heart. This, along with so many other tragic events, has pushed me to do all I can do for this community. No one should ever have to sleep on cardboard in a church alcove. Children should know how to read and write and all should be able to attend college if they wish to do so. If I am able to help one life, one child, one homeless man, one grandma in a walker, and make their day a little brighter, that is all the reward that I will need. Join me in the volunteer effort! We can change the world - It just takes a little work.

Spotted: Your humble blogger at Macy’s buying a new shirt to wear on my first “Okcupid” date tomorrow night. Wish me luck! (Hopefully I don’t really need it ☺)