At times, I think I would be an excellent blogger for the self-conscious people of the world. I could be a semi-success story of a girl who grew up to love herself. There are many times throughout the year when a woman’s confidence level is challenged. Depending on the person, a number of things could cause this confidence drop. For yours truly, the list includes weddings (if I’m not in a relationship), bad hair days, bikini season, and the beginning of spring. Shorts and tank top weather and I have a love/hate relationship. I absolutely love the warm weather the spring brings, and I absolutely hate the fact that I have to show off my pasty white legs to the world. Luckily, I have been working out consistently since January, and my legs have definitely toned up. Shorts may be bearable this quarter.
B tweeted this morning: “I forgot how much cellulite is on display during the spring quarter.” I immediately ran to my mirror and wondered if my name was going to be added to some cellulite showing website page if I went out in public! My instincts tell me no, but the thought pushed me to start my next challenge in order to get fit. Starting today, I will be writing down everything I eat and drink for the next couple of months. It is proven that if you write down what you eat, you are likely to eat less. My workouts have been going great, but food has been my Everest. I love food too much, and eat more than I should in a day. I also eat late at night, snacking at 10pm during a homework break. This needs to end. Feelings like these have nothing to do with vanity. Okay, they have a little to do with vanity, but if me wanting a hotter body is what is going to get me into the greatest shape of my life, I’m okay with that. I’m determined to live a healthier life, and I’m determined to have cellulite-free legs.
The one thing good about winter is that we get to cover up. Sweatshirts, sweatpants, and lots of blankets hide any part of the body that we do not wish to reveal. Winter is the equivalent to a lazy Sunday that is stretched out to three months. I enjoy spring because it asks more of you. Spring and summer challenge you to be active and healthy. Because I know I have to go out in less clothing in order to be comfortable, I want to be the most comfortable I can be. This includes losing the extra winter weight and pushing my endurance levels so I’m able to keep up with the fast pace of spring, but also switching the chocolate for an apple, and going for a run instead of lying on the couch. Simple changes are going to be how I change my body and my mental outlook on life. If we all make these small alterations, perhaps there will be more confidence in the world and less cellulite on our bodies.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Taking Risks
First thing’s first. I need to wish my best friend in the entire world (who doesn’t read my blog regularly!) a very happy birthday. She is the big 2-1 today. It is unreal to me that she is both older than me (she looks like she’s still 15!) and officially legal. I have had my best moments with her right by my side, and whether it is attending concerts together (Miley and Britney were awesome!) or traveling together (Myrtle Beach again soon?), we never get tired of seeing one another. Well, I don’t get tired of seeing her face – she’ll have to tell you if she gets bored of me ☺. She knows all of my deepest darkest secrets, and is officially a member of my immediate family. So, to my soul sister and partner-in-crime Meghan, I hope you have the best 21st birthday anyone has ever had. I’m very upset that I’m stuck in Columbus reading Charles Dickens while you are drinking Margaritas at the moment, but I will see you at the end of April and we will finally be buying each other birthday drinks! Oh, and hopefully this post will inspire you to read my blog more often. Xoxo
Now, back to actual blogging. I have a “bucket list” for my life (who doesn’t?), and today I crossed a few small items off of it. For those who don't know, the “bucket list” is the term used for a list of things to do before you die. My list is quite long. Some items on the list are places I want to visit – China, Ireland, and Paris being a few. Others are social challenges such as asking a guy out to dinner. Today, I was able to cross off another social task that I have wanted to do for a long time: I ate alone in public. This may sound funny, but I do not do well in public spaces by myself. I need to always be doing something. I’m that girl at a party who, when her friends get separated from her, takes out her cell phone and pretends to be texting someone, when in reality she is just hitting buttons and looking through her calendar. Pathetic, I know, but I just can’t help it. I decided when I came to college that life is all about taking risks. We need to get out of our comfort zones in order to grow. Last year, I did something I thought I would never be able to do: I gave a guy I was crushing on my phone number (Gasp!). He didn’t ask for it, but I didn’t want our communication to end, so I went for it. I wrote it down on a piece of paper and gave it to him before he left class. To me, how that relationship turned out isn’t what mattered (we stayed acquaintances, but nothing really came of it). It was more the fact that I was able to leap out of my comfort zone and do something that left me shaking as I left the class – I was so proud of my shy, self-conscious self.
Focusing back on today, I have a large gap in between my two English classes, so instead of going home, I decided to get food. Normally, I would grab the food to go and eat in an empty hallway in the English building with my cell phone attached to my ear and my computer on my lap. Instead, I went to Brennans on High Street – a place I have never been to before (another item on my list – eat at new places in Columbus!), and ordered a bagel, soup and a banana. I then sat at a table by myself and ate lunch. I glanced around at people, spent time with my inner thoughts, and did not take out any items to distract me from my solitude. My honey wheat bagel and myself sat there exposed to the world. It felt wonderful, and much easier than I thought it would be! I’ll probably do it quite often this quarter during my break, trying out new eateries of course.
My next goal is to go see a movie by myself. My friend Lauryn did this back in high school a few times, and I remember how jealous I was that she had the confidence to do that. Her reasoning: “A movie came out that I wanted to see, and no one else wanted to go, so I went by myself.” I’m the loser who waits for the DVD release. Eating for ten minutes by yourself is one thing. Seeing a two hour movie is an entirely different ballpark, but I will accomplish it. I will be brave! It may take me some time, but I will take the risks, because being a risk-taker makes you happy, confident, and let’s face it, pretty awesome.
Now, back to actual blogging. I have a “bucket list” for my life (who doesn’t?), and today I crossed a few small items off of it. For those who don't know, the “bucket list” is the term used for a list of things to do before you die. My list is quite long. Some items on the list are places I want to visit – China, Ireland, and Paris being a few. Others are social challenges such as asking a guy out to dinner. Today, I was able to cross off another social task that I have wanted to do for a long time: I ate alone in public. This may sound funny, but I do not do well in public spaces by myself. I need to always be doing something. I’m that girl at a party who, when her friends get separated from her, takes out her cell phone and pretends to be texting someone, when in reality she is just hitting buttons and looking through her calendar. Pathetic, I know, but I just can’t help it. I decided when I came to college that life is all about taking risks. We need to get out of our comfort zones in order to grow. Last year, I did something I thought I would never be able to do: I gave a guy I was crushing on my phone number (Gasp!). He didn’t ask for it, but I didn’t want our communication to end, so I went for it. I wrote it down on a piece of paper and gave it to him before he left class. To me, how that relationship turned out isn’t what mattered (we stayed acquaintances, but nothing really came of it). It was more the fact that I was able to leap out of my comfort zone and do something that left me shaking as I left the class – I was so proud of my shy, self-conscious self.
Focusing back on today, I have a large gap in between my two English classes, so instead of going home, I decided to get food. Normally, I would grab the food to go and eat in an empty hallway in the English building with my cell phone attached to my ear and my computer on my lap. Instead, I went to Brennans on High Street – a place I have never been to before (another item on my list – eat at new places in Columbus!), and ordered a bagel, soup and a banana. I then sat at a table by myself and ate lunch. I glanced around at people, spent time with my inner thoughts, and did not take out any items to distract me from my solitude. My honey wheat bagel and myself sat there exposed to the world. It felt wonderful, and much easier than I thought it would be! I’ll probably do it quite often this quarter during my break, trying out new eateries of course.
My next goal is to go see a movie by myself. My friend Lauryn did this back in high school a few times, and I remember how jealous I was that she had the confidence to do that. Her reasoning: “A movie came out that I wanted to see, and no one else wanted to go, so I went by myself.” I’m the loser who waits for the DVD release. Eating for ten minutes by yourself is one thing. Seeing a two hour movie is an entirely different ballpark, but I will accomplish it. I will be brave! It may take me some time, but I will take the risks, because being a risk-taker makes you happy, confident, and let’s face it, pretty awesome.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I Love College
…There are many reasons why this is so: The endless social engagements, everything being within walking distance from my apartment, the exciting football games, the bad food and the even worse beverage choices. College life is wonderful. Today, I discovered my favorite reason why I love college: The stress-free decision-making lifestyle I have become accustomed to. My life is on autopilot when I’m at school. Take a look at my routine for this quarter. Mondays and Wednesdays I wake up, workout, shower, eat breakfast, go to class, return from class, eat dinner, do homework and go to bed at some un-godly hour. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to class, return from class, workout, shower, eat lunch, do homework, eat dinner, do more homework, and eventually crawl into bed. Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays are my random days. I’m not kidding – my days rarely change. Perhaps this indicates that I’m too organized and obsessive compulsive, but I believe routines give me a steady road to walk on as I travel to graduation.
I must confess I’m making it seem a tad easier than it really is. When professors assign 200-300 pages of reading per class per week, homework can take hours upon hours to actually get completed. And as you saw from previous posts, papers are no walk in the park either, but I’m talking about actual life. I do have a life outside of the English Department at Ohio State (though not a very active one at the moment thanks to my desire to save a year's worth of tuition ). The biggest decision I made today was deciding what toppings I wanted to get on my Red Mango frozen yogurt – I went with bananas and strawberries. Once I realized this, I became extremely light-hearted. I didn’t have to focus on family issues, events I had to attend, or what who was saying about whom. I just had to decide what fruit topping I was craving. On days when you do not have three papers, two books, and a project due, this life can almost be too relaxing. Your body begins to go into sleep mode…all day long. Even while writing this riveting blog post, all I want to do is crawl under my blankets and head off to dreamland. Tonight, I ate dinner while watching Harry Potter with my roommates. There was no late night news program keeping me from digesting my food properly, there were no phones ringing off the hook, and with the exception of a neighbor wanting to borrow a game controller, people were not running through our house at warp speed. It was just the roommates, some good food, and Harry Potter. Spring brings the calm.
Days like today make me think about what life will be like when these days end. When I move back home, I will not have steady routines like I do now. I do not want to say my home life is stressful because mom will get upset and, in reality, it is not a fair assessment. Home is just much faster in every possible way. Actually, the entire East Coast moves at a faster pace than Columbus, so my main goal is to enjoy the calm before the storm. There is so much activity in NJ between this person fighting with this person, this person having a baby, this person getting married, and these six baby showers, two communions and three funerals that must be attended or the family will be shamed. The nice thing about living on my own (8 hours away…with no car) is that I just have to focus on my life and me. And my life is telling me to slow down! I snapped a picture on my cell phone today of flowers growing on a tree on the Oval. I’m literally taking the time this spring to smell the flowers. I love enjoying the blue sky after so many months of gray; I love hearing the birds chirp outside my window (even if sometimes they sound as if they are killing each other); I love walking down High Street seeing people wearing shorts, tanks, and sunglasses. Most of all, I love the light as a feather feeling in my soul now that I have started classes and have a good sense that all of them are completely manageable. Life is wonderful and stress free in Columbus, Ohio…for now.
I want to challenge all of you this week to take three deep breaths and reflect on all of the beautiful sites this world has to offer. You won’t believe how much you will be able to see once you stop and open your eyes.
<3 Peace and Love <3
I must confess I’m making it seem a tad easier than it really is. When professors assign 200-300 pages of reading per class per week, homework can take hours upon hours to actually get completed. And as you saw from previous posts, papers are no walk in the park either, but I’m talking about actual life. I do have a life outside of the English Department at Ohio State (though not a very active one at the moment thanks to my desire to save a year's worth of tuition ). The biggest decision I made today was deciding what toppings I wanted to get on my Red Mango frozen yogurt – I went with bananas and strawberries. Once I realized this, I became extremely light-hearted. I didn’t have to focus on family issues, events I had to attend, or what who was saying about whom. I just had to decide what fruit topping I was craving. On days when you do not have three papers, two books, and a project due, this life can almost be too relaxing. Your body begins to go into sleep mode…all day long. Even while writing this riveting blog post, all I want to do is crawl under my blankets and head off to dreamland. Tonight, I ate dinner while watching Harry Potter with my roommates. There was no late night news program keeping me from digesting my food properly, there were no phones ringing off the hook, and with the exception of a neighbor wanting to borrow a game controller, people were not running through our house at warp speed. It was just the roommates, some good food, and Harry Potter. Spring brings the calm.
Days like today make me think about what life will be like when these days end. When I move back home, I will not have steady routines like I do now. I do not want to say my home life is stressful because mom will get upset and, in reality, it is not a fair assessment. Home is just much faster in every possible way. Actually, the entire East Coast moves at a faster pace than Columbus, so my main goal is to enjoy the calm before the storm. There is so much activity in NJ between this person fighting with this person, this person having a baby, this person getting married, and these six baby showers, two communions and three funerals that must be attended or the family will be shamed. The nice thing about living on my own (8 hours away…with no car) is that I just have to focus on my life and me. And my life is telling me to slow down! I snapped a picture on my cell phone today of flowers growing on a tree on the Oval. I’m literally taking the time this spring to smell the flowers. I love enjoying the blue sky after so many months of gray; I love hearing the birds chirp outside my window (even if sometimes they sound as if they are killing each other); I love walking down High Street seeing people wearing shorts, tanks, and sunglasses. Most of all, I love the light as a feather feeling in my soul now that I have started classes and have a good sense that all of them are completely manageable. Life is wonderful and stress free in Columbus, Ohio…for now.
I want to challenge all of you this week to take three deep breaths and reflect on all of the beautiful sites this world has to offer. You won’t believe how much you will be able to see once you stop and open your eyes.
<3 Peace and Love <3
Monday, March 29, 2010
Hello Spring Quarter...
Spring break has ended. Spring Quarter has begun. First off, I have to live up to my promise. I told the world that when I reached 15 followers, I would give a shout out to whoever the follower was who put me at my number. I miraculously hit 16 followers throughout the night thanks to some crazy neighbors. Since I’m not completely sure who followed me first, I’m giving a shout out to both “Gibblez” (Gabe), “Grizz Wiz” (Zane), and a shout out to Mr. Zachary Kramer who put me at 14 followers. They have a blog as well (and they should update it!). Thank you for following me friends, and when I become famous, you will still be a part of my inner posse.
Now, back to the grind. I just finished up my first day of classes. It is actually my last first day of class as an undergrad. Hurray! I am taking a "writing fiction" course this quarter that looks challenging and awesome. I’m really hoping to improve my writing and to make it a point to write every single day whether it is in blog form or fictional writing. The class is set up as a workshop, so I will have about twenty other students critiquing my work, which should be very helpful. The only surprise about the class for me was the amount of work that will actually be due. It’s only a 200-level class, therefore, I thought it would be an easy five credits for the spring. Instead we have portfolios of written work due, essays, and many reading assignments. That’s what I get for picking an “easy” class to finish up college.
After class, I ran to Subway and got some lunch and then headed to the dreaded bookstore. My books this quarter only cost me about $120. I know all the science and math majors want to shoot me right now. In all fairness, that’s the cheapest I’ve ever paid for books. It helped that three of the books I need to read I already own. I hate nothing more than going to the bookstore two or three times during the first week of classes, so I buy everything at one time. I have yet to attend my Tuesday/Thursday classes, but since I’m an English major, it’s a safe bet that if they assign you a novel, you will most likely have to read it.
After the bookstore, I went and visited the grand opening of our new Ohio Union. The building is amazing. I still love the new library more (all those books make me so happy), but the Union is fantastic. Today they had D.J’s at all entrances and music inside with so many free gifts and lots of free food. They really did a beautiful job on it. Someone in one of my classes stated that it didn’t seem right building such a magnificent building when so many people are out of work and starving in Ohio. I tend to agree with him. I’m not sure if this Union was planned at the right time, but if Ohio State wants to impress future attendees, they sure have a few nice buildings to help.
After leaving the Union feeling a tad overwhelmed (fifty thousand people really do attend OSU!), I went to my last class on Mondays, which is an American Literature class dating between 1865-1910. I really enjoy American Lit so I think this class will be a good fit. I have already taken the class that precedes it and the class that follows it, so I have a decent grasp on what the class will focus on. My professor seems very knowledgeable and a tad frightening. I think I need a few more classes to see if we will click or not. It didn’t help that while we were talking about regions of the country she said, “I spent last summer in New Jersey and couldn’t wait to come home!” I then told her I was from New Jersey. We will either be best friends or mortal enemies by the time June rolls around.
And so the hustle and bustle of spring begins. There are tons of faces walking around campus coming out of their winter hibernation. Books are being bought, classrooms are being occupied and homework will be completed or not completed once again. There is life to Ohio State once more, and I have ten weeks left to enjoy it.
<3 Peace and Love All <3
Now, back to the grind. I just finished up my first day of classes. It is actually my last first day of class as an undergrad. Hurray! I am taking a "writing fiction" course this quarter that looks challenging and awesome. I’m really hoping to improve my writing and to make it a point to write every single day whether it is in blog form or fictional writing. The class is set up as a workshop, so I will have about twenty other students critiquing my work, which should be very helpful. The only surprise about the class for me was the amount of work that will actually be due. It’s only a 200-level class, therefore, I thought it would be an easy five credits for the spring. Instead we have portfolios of written work due, essays, and many reading assignments. That’s what I get for picking an “easy” class to finish up college.
After class, I ran to Subway and got some lunch and then headed to the dreaded bookstore. My books this quarter only cost me about $120. I know all the science and math majors want to shoot me right now. In all fairness, that’s the cheapest I’ve ever paid for books. It helped that three of the books I need to read I already own. I hate nothing more than going to the bookstore two or three times during the first week of classes, so I buy everything at one time. I have yet to attend my Tuesday/Thursday classes, but since I’m an English major, it’s a safe bet that if they assign you a novel, you will most likely have to read it.
After the bookstore, I went and visited the grand opening of our new Ohio Union. The building is amazing. I still love the new library more (all those books make me so happy), but the Union is fantastic. Today they had D.J’s at all entrances and music inside with so many free gifts and lots of free food. They really did a beautiful job on it. Someone in one of my classes stated that it didn’t seem right building such a magnificent building when so many people are out of work and starving in Ohio. I tend to agree with him. I’m not sure if this Union was planned at the right time, but if Ohio State wants to impress future attendees, they sure have a few nice buildings to help.
After leaving the Union feeling a tad overwhelmed (fifty thousand people really do attend OSU!), I went to my last class on Mondays, which is an American Literature class dating between 1865-1910. I really enjoy American Lit so I think this class will be a good fit. I have already taken the class that precedes it and the class that follows it, so I have a decent grasp on what the class will focus on. My professor seems very knowledgeable and a tad frightening. I think I need a few more classes to see if we will click or not. It didn’t help that while we were talking about regions of the country she said, “I spent last summer in New Jersey and couldn’t wait to come home!” I then told her I was from New Jersey. We will either be best friends or mortal enemies by the time June rolls around.
And so the hustle and bustle of spring begins. There are tons of faces walking around campus coming out of their winter hibernation. Books are being bought, classrooms are being occupied and homework will be completed or not completed once again. There is life to Ohio State once more, and I have ten weeks left to enjoy it.
<3 Peace and Love All <3
Friday, March 26, 2010
Relationship Networking
It’s no secret to anyone that I have been in a bit of a dry spell in the relationship department for the last couple of years. There are many reasons why this may be the case. I’m too busy, I’m too focused on myself, I wear sweatshirts to class with no make-up on, and sometimes I would rather cuddle in bed with a romantic comedy and my pillow than venture out into the real world and do the whole dating thing. Dating sucks. I don’t think I know anyone who enjoys the dinner with a stranger who you have to get to know to see if you have a spark thing. I’m still hoping for Leonardo DiCaprio to come around the corner – I think he and I would have wonderful chemistry. The problem with my situation is that most of my closest friends are all in serious relationships – some are going on two and three years long (M and J have been dating for what feels like a hundred years). Being single was great when we were all single, but is now getting kind of old. For the most part, I have no issue with third wheeling it. Their boyfriends don’t seem to have an issue with me (at least not to my face ☺), but lately I have been getting that itch that comes when you are about to graduate college and enter reality – no it’s not some disease. It’s more of a ticking that says, “hmm maybe it’s time for you to allow someone to cross into the steel cage that has formed around you.”
Here’s my problem: I’m a very independent individual, mostly because I’ve always had to be. I learned to cook myself meals and do my own laundry at the age of twelve, I was getting myself from point A to point B as a pre-teen, I decided what college I wanted to attend in eighth grade, and I always make my own rules. I'm not sure I know how to share my independent life with another person. I really enjoy my freedom. I can see the benefits of a relationship – the companionship, the partner in life mentality, the bedroom fun. But I also see the problems that can occur in relationships – the scheduling time around someone else, the lack of privacy and personal space, and the fact that in most cases it is taboo to be dating more than one person once you become exclusive. I’m not even going to get into all the crap that can occur to help end a relationship – cheating, heartbreak, one person falling out of love with the other (Jesse James has scarred me for life. If Sandra can’t keep a guy, who the hell can?!). When looked at closer, you could say I’m afraid of relationships. My OCD has kept my life very organized and structured. I do what I want when I want. If I want to stay in, I stay in. If I want to go out and party it up, I do. If I want to go to bed at 8pm on a Friday, no one is saying I can’t. If I forget to shave my legs for a few days, it’s not a big deal. I really didn’t think taking the leap into commitment would be difficult. Turns out it might just be.
Since beginning my job search, I’ve been told networking is key. It’s not what you know it’s who you know. I’m taking this same approach to dating. I read in Cosmo that 70% of women know someone who already knows their future husband. Don’t run away people. I’m not looking to get married anytime soon, but if that is true than certainly one of my many social friends must have a male friend that I could share some fun times with. I challenge my committed friends to find me a date. I’ll give anyone a chance (no serial killers please), and this summer I hope to have lots of fun with new people. Think about it. No one knows you better than your closest friends. I actually think this could be an interesting experiment. Can Kate make a relationship work? We shall see. Because my friends are all so different, I can’t wait to see the different types of men they come up with. And the added incentive is that if the date works out, the person that sets us up will be my top friend until the relationship goes down in flames. This is so much better than Match.com! So friends out there: I graduate June 13th. Start the search for Kate’s Date – that has a funny, reality show ring to it. I know my summer will be anything but boring.
Here’s my problem: I’m a very independent individual, mostly because I’ve always had to be. I learned to cook myself meals and do my own laundry at the age of twelve, I was getting myself from point A to point B as a pre-teen, I decided what college I wanted to attend in eighth grade, and I always make my own rules. I'm not sure I know how to share my independent life with another person. I really enjoy my freedom. I can see the benefits of a relationship – the companionship, the partner in life mentality, the bedroom fun. But I also see the problems that can occur in relationships – the scheduling time around someone else, the lack of privacy and personal space, and the fact that in most cases it is taboo to be dating more than one person once you become exclusive. I’m not even going to get into all the crap that can occur to help end a relationship – cheating, heartbreak, one person falling out of love with the other (Jesse James has scarred me for life. If Sandra can’t keep a guy, who the hell can?!). When looked at closer, you could say I’m afraid of relationships. My OCD has kept my life very organized and structured. I do what I want when I want. If I want to stay in, I stay in. If I want to go out and party it up, I do. If I want to go to bed at 8pm on a Friday, no one is saying I can’t. If I forget to shave my legs for a few days, it’s not a big deal. I really didn’t think taking the leap into commitment would be difficult. Turns out it might just be.
Since beginning my job search, I’ve been told networking is key. It’s not what you know it’s who you know. I’m taking this same approach to dating. I read in Cosmo that 70% of women know someone who already knows their future husband. Don’t run away people. I’m not looking to get married anytime soon, but if that is true than certainly one of my many social friends must have a male friend that I could share some fun times with. I challenge my committed friends to find me a date. I’ll give anyone a chance (no serial killers please), and this summer I hope to have lots of fun with new people. Think about it. No one knows you better than your closest friends. I actually think this could be an interesting experiment. Can Kate make a relationship work? We shall see. Because my friends are all so different, I can’t wait to see the different types of men they come up with. And the added incentive is that if the date works out, the person that sets us up will be my top friend until the relationship goes down in flames. This is so much better than Match.com! So friends out there: I graduate June 13th. Start the search for Kate’s Date – that has a funny, reality show ring to it. I know my summer will be anything but boring.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
It's A Love Story...
24 hours later and I have yet to blog about my awesome day in New York. I want to begin with a quick story. It’s the “When I fell in love” story only mine has to do with a young girl and a big city. I don’t recall the very first time I knew I was going to have a lifelong love affair with New York, but it happened somewhere between the ages of eight and ten. My mom and dad did a wonderful job of culturing my brother and I to the max. Mom’s friend Joyce lived on Houston Street for years, and there were so many times when I made her couch my bed and attempted to fall asleep in the city that never sleeps. At a young age, I was able to do all of the things “New Yorkers” got to do, and I was so grateful. I saw the Greenwich Village Halloween parade, bought countless outfits/Halloween costumes at certain shops, ate Mexican food at a local restaurant that had an adorable sombrero on the entry way, ate spaghetti at some of the best restaurants “Little Italy” has to offer (while also meeting a few Sopranos along the way), I went to gallery openings in Chelsea with my mom and her friends when I was just learning to appreciate the naked paintings on the walls as art, and saw countless shows on Broadway – my first show was “Beauty and the Beast” when I was seven. I learned the streets – dad drilled into my head that “midtown is a grid” in case I ever got lost. I learned a few subway lines (I’m still working on the others.) Dad also drilled into us from his days growing up in Staten Island that if you got separated on the subway, you got off at the next stop and waited. As a child, I was secretly terrified and elated that this situation would present itself. It did not until I was 18 years old, and by that time I made my own way to the restaurant without anyone batting an eye. Most importantly, I discovered the place I will call my home. It’s unreal that this thirteen year-old dream is very close to becoming a reality. New York is the capital of the world. There is so much to be found on that tiny island, and you know that if you make it there, you really can make it anywhere. And so, a girl from Jersey fell in love with a city, hoping and wishing that she would add to the growing population of eight million.
Yesterday, I traveled up to New York to see the Broadway show Memphis. My brother’s high school band went on a field trip, and I begged to tag along. I had to meet them at the theatre to get my ticket – which was discounted thanks to student prices! Someone asked me the other day if I was comfortable going to the city alone, and all I did was smile. Seriously, sometimes I prefer it. I traveled up on the train from Metropark and landed in Penn Station forty minutes later. Because I do know my way around so well, I easily went from the train to the subway with zero delay. One stop later, I got out at 42nd street and Times Square. I really lucked out on the weather. It was a little windy, but overall a beautiful day in New York. Spring has really set in. I walked over to Rockefeller Center and on the way stared at every sight around me. I feel towards NYC the way I feel towards my family and friends when I return from college – “I missed you a lot old friend.” I met B’s sister T for Coffee at 30 Rock where she interns. It was a lot of fun to catch up and to learn all about what she does at her internship. It is always wonderful to see a friendly face in a big city.
I left T an hour later and went on a stroll up Fifth Avenue to Central Park. This is why I enjoy going to the city alone. I walked along the park and felt at ease. It was nice to not have to get anywhere. There are times when I seriously want to train it up to NY just to go for a jog through Central Park. I think that is God’s way of telling me it’s time to find an apartment and some sane thoughts. After my walk, I made my way back to 44th and 7th to the Shubert Theatre where Memphis was playing. The Shubert theatre is a well-known theatre that has hosted a number of shows including A Chorus Line, Crazy For You, Gypsy, and Spamalot. Our seats were up in the balcony, but I had no trouble seeing the dancing and singing performed on stage. Memphis is loosely based off of a true story about crossing racial boundaries in Tennessee in the 1950’s. I enjoyed the show and especially thought Montego Glover who played Felicia Farrell – the leading woman – was fabulous. My brother and I discussed how she could give Michelle Obama a run for her money with those arms of hers…I need to start lifting heavier weights! Memphis was my brother’s first Broadway show, and I was very excited to share in the special experience with him.
When the show was over, I walked my way down 7th avenue to Penn Station. The weather was too beautiful to spend it underground. I left the city I love to return home, but I’ll always be back. You cannot keep me away for long. And hopefully soon (I’m keeping my fingers crossed for December/January), I will have my own humble abode in Manhattan where home will be a subway ride away instead of a 35 minute train ride and a 30 minute drive on the Garden State Parkway.
Yesterday, I traveled up to New York to see the Broadway show Memphis. My brother’s high school band went on a field trip, and I begged to tag along. I had to meet them at the theatre to get my ticket – which was discounted thanks to student prices! Someone asked me the other day if I was comfortable going to the city alone, and all I did was smile. Seriously, sometimes I prefer it. I traveled up on the train from Metropark and landed in Penn Station forty minutes later. Because I do know my way around so well, I easily went from the train to the subway with zero delay. One stop later, I got out at 42nd street and Times Square. I really lucked out on the weather. It was a little windy, but overall a beautiful day in New York. Spring has really set in. I walked over to Rockefeller Center and on the way stared at every sight around me. I feel towards NYC the way I feel towards my family and friends when I return from college – “I missed you a lot old friend.” I met B’s sister T for Coffee at 30 Rock where she interns. It was a lot of fun to catch up and to learn all about what she does at her internship. It is always wonderful to see a friendly face in a big city.
I left T an hour later and went on a stroll up Fifth Avenue to Central Park. This is why I enjoy going to the city alone. I walked along the park and felt at ease. It was nice to not have to get anywhere. There are times when I seriously want to train it up to NY just to go for a jog through Central Park. I think that is God’s way of telling me it’s time to find an apartment and some sane thoughts. After my walk, I made my way back to 44th and 7th to the Shubert Theatre where Memphis was playing. The Shubert theatre is a well-known theatre that has hosted a number of shows including A Chorus Line, Crazy For You, Gypsy, and Spamalot. Our seats were up in the balcony, but I had no trouble seeing the dancing and singing performed on stage. Memphis is loosely based off of a true story about crossing racial boundaries in Tennessee in the 1950’s. I enjoyed the show and especially thought Montego Glover who played Felicia Farrell – the leading woman – was fabulous. My brother and I discussed how she could give Michelle Obama a run for her money with those arms of hers…I need to start lifting heavier weights! Memphis was my brother’s first Broadway show, and I was very excited to share in the special experience with him.
When the show was over, I walked my way down 7th avenue to Penn Station. The weather was too beautiful to spend it underground. I left the city I love to return home, but I’ll always be back. You cannot keep me away for long. And hopefully soon (I’m keeping my fingers crossed for December/January), I will have my own humble abode in Manhattan where home will be a subway ride away instead of a 35 minute train ride and a 30 minute drive on the Garden State Parkway.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Be Who You Are and Say What You Feel
"Because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." Oh Doctor Seuss. You always know exactly the right thing to say. I was thinking a lot today about pleasing people. It seems all my life I have had this need for people to like me…and now I’m over it. I have grown up so much in the last three years, and the best lesson I have learned is that not everyone is going to like who you are as a person. And that’s totally okay. I have attempted over the years to change aspects of myself so I could fit in with a certain group of people. It became really exhausting. I’m not sure if I can pin point the exact moment I stopped caring what people thought about me. In fact, I’m still working on it - M can vouch for this fact since she gets the brunt of my phone calls when I’m panicking over what this person or that person thinks about me. However, I have definitely gotten much better. Perhaps it was a drama filled senior year of high school that made me say, “Is this going to matter in twenty years?” Turns out it won’t. Or maybe it was the fact that I felt much more comfortable being me and not what others wanted me to be. I knew a change had to occur or else I was going to be a very unhappy college girl.
I’ve become a very vocal person in my late teens and early twenties simply because I care. I care about my country, I care about my friends, and I care about my family. I’m going to be outspoken. I shouldn’t have to apologize for being aware and strong-willed. Those are the two things I love most about myself! Some people may not be able to handle my outspokenness, and that’s okay. I refuse to change who I am as a person so others can tolerate me. At the end of the day, the person they want does not exist, so what’s the point? I know the people I can count on love me for every part of me – even the frustrating, annoying parts, and that is all that matters. It really is kind of liberating. I have finally given myself permission to be exactly who I’m supposed to be.
I really hope others will join me. I’m going to sing as loud as I can, dance as crazy as I can, debate political events until I’m heard, watch lousy TV and enjoy it, call home wherever I please, get jobs in any area that I find interesting and I will not apologize to anyone for these things. I would hope people have more meaningful things to do with their lives than focus on me anyway. I will never hurt people intentionally, I will try to spread love to every person on this planet, and I will say when I am wrong, but there is nothing wrong with being the person you were born to be. I will never listen to dream killers. I will succeed, I will love life, and I will dream dreams that seem impossible, knowing in my heart that nothing is truly impossible. It may seem silly, but I feel like I have a protective shield surrounding me from negative people. I am living the dream in every way, and nothing/no one will bring me down. Life is so good right now. Why waste it caring what others think?
I’ve become a very vocal person in my late teens and early twenties simply because I care. I care about my country, I care about my friends, and I care about my family. I’m going to be outspoken. I shouldn’t have to apologize for being aware and strong-willed. Those are the two things I love most about myself! Some people may not be able to handle my outspokenness, and that’s okay. I refuse to change who I am as a person so others can tolerate me. At the end of the day, the person they want does not exist, so what’s the point? I know the people I can count on love me for every part of me – even the frustrating, annoying parts, and that is all that matters. It really is kind of liberating. I have finally given myself permission to be exactly who I’m supposed to be.
I really hope others will join me. I’m going to sing as loud as I can, dance as crazy as I can, debate political events until I’m heard, watch lousy TV and enjoy it, call home wherever I please, get jobs in any area that I find interesting and I will not apologize to anyone for these things. I would hope people have more meaningful things to do with their lives than focus on me anyway. I will never hurt people intentionally, I will try to spread love to every person on this planet, and I will say when I am wrong, but there is nothing wrong with being the person you were born to be. I will never listen to dream killers. I will succeed, I will love life, and I will dream dreams that seem impossible, knowing in my heart that nothing is truly impossible. It may seem silly, but I feel like I have a protective shield surrounding me from negative people. I am living the dream in every way, and nothing/no one will bring me down. Life is so good right now. Why waste it caring what others think?
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