The title of this post may make me sound a tad pretentious, but I by no means have ever thought of myself as perfect. No one can name my flaws quicker than I can. But when it comes to my work ethic and drive, I do take pride in the fact that I’m a perfectionist. Every detail of my life needs to be exact. In college, I would read over papers five, ten, sometimes fifteen times to make sure one spelling or grammar error could not be found, and I would only answer questions I was certain of the answers to (these could also be symptoms of my OCD, but that’s for another post). My writing classes, and my non-existent writing career (at least for now☺) have been full of bumps along the way because I write stories that I take great pride in only to have my professors (and editors) tell me a plot point doesn’t make sense or a character is unnecessary – a character that I have created and feel a connection to is cut from the page as fast as that evil red pen can swipe it. Receiving negative criticism has been a challenge for me for several years.
I’m discovering in the working world that I have quite a bit to learn, and my pride has to sometimes be pushed aside in order for “constructive” criticism to enter– I haven’t been fired yet, so I consider it constructive. Yesterday was one of those days – a Monday no less. I was responsible for four major documents and all had to be completed by 5pm. Once all four were sent off, four separate emails returned with corrections and things to keep in mind for the next time. I even got an email from my boss at 12:09 this morning that gave additional critiques on my excel spreadsheets. The perfectionist part of me was slightly mortified. I couldn’t hand in one document that was returned with a “great, thanks!” response? That’s not like me at all. I could come up with a thousand excuses – “I was rushed.” “I put them in this order because…” But at the end of the day… and again this morning, I swallowed my pride and responded with the only appropriate words I could think of – “Thank you for the help. I won’t make the same mistakes again.”
My brother has informed me in the past that one of my biggest personality flaws is that I can’t be wrong…and as much as I hate to admit it, he’s right! I once forced M to try my margarita because I was certain that it was impossible for a human being not to love margaritas – even after she tried to tell me she couldn’t stand tequila. She took one sip and almost spit it back out. I was in shock. I couldn’t taste the liquor, but she could. I guess I was wrong. As an intern and future full-time employee, I refuse to allow this stubbornness to get in the way of me prospering in the work force. Every day that I spend at my company is another day I learn more and more about the work I am doing. My boss likes things done a certain way, and I will do it with my tail between my legs if I have to. I’m sure my next boss will want things done entirely differently, and I will rise to the occasion and relearn everything I have taught myself these last six months. The important thing is that I don’t cry myself to sleep at night because I was told I inputted company names incorrectly. My boss wants to help me – I can see that when we talk about my work – and she knows the only way to help is to tell me everything I do wrong. My job is to learn from my mistakes and not repeat them. If I can do that, maybe I will walk away from this job a stronger employee and more prepared for the outside world. I’m not perfect – no one walking this Earth is, and sometimes you need a friendly reminder of that from time to time. It’s too stressful trying to be perfect anyway - I’d rather be flawed.
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