Relationship Networking

It’s no secret to anyone that I have been in a bit of a dry spell in the relationship department for the last couple of years. There are many reasons why this may be the case. I’m too busy, I’m too focused on myself, I wear sweatshirts to class with no make-up on, and sometimes I would rather cuddle in bed with a romantic comedy and my pillow than venture out into the real world and do the whole dating thing. Dating sucks. I don’t think I know anyone who enjoys the dinner with a stranger who you have to get to know to see if you have a spark thing. I’m still hoping for Leonardo DiCaprio to come around the corner – I think he and I would have wonderful chemistry. The problem with my situation is that most of my closest friends are all in serious relationships – some are going on two and three years long (M and J have been dating for what feels like a hundred years). Being single was great when we were all single, but is now getting kind of old. For the most part, I have no issue with third wheeling it. Their boyfriends don’t seem to have an issue with me (at least not to my face ☺), but lately I have been getting that itch that comes when you are about to graduate college and enter reality – no it’s not some disease. It’s more of a ticking that says, “hmm maybe it’s time for you to allow someone to cross into the steel cage that has formed around you.”

Here’s my problem: I’m a very independent individual, mostly because I’ve always had to be. I learned to cook myself meals and do my own laundry at the age of twelve, I was getting myself from point A to point B as a pre-teen, I decided what college I wanted to attend in eighth grade, and I always make my own rules. I'm not sure I know how to share my independent life with another person. I really enjoy my freedom. I can see the benefits of a relationship – the companionship, the partner in life mentality, the bedroom fun. But I also see the problems that can occur in relationships – the scheduling time around someone else, the lack of privacy and personal space, and the fact that in most cases it is taboo to be dating more than one person once you become exclusive. I’m not even going to get into all the crap that can occur to help end a relationship – cheating, heartbreak, one person falling out of love with the other (Jesse James has scarred me for life. If Sandra can’t keep a guy, who the hell can?!). When looked at closer, you could say I’m afraid of relationships. My OCD has kept my life very organized and structured. I do what I want when I want. If I want to stay in, I stay in. If I want to go out and party it up, I do. If I want to go to bed at 8pm on a Friday, no one is saying I can’t. If I forget to shave my legs for a few days, it’s not a big deal. I really didn’t think taking the leap into commitment would be difficult. Turns out it might just be.

Since beginning my job search, I’ve been told networking is key. It’s not what you know it’s who you know. I’m taking this same approach to dating. I read in Cosmo that 70% of women know someone who already knows their future husband. Don’t run away people. I’m not looking to get married anytime soon, but if that is true than certainly one of my many social friends must have a male friend that I could share some fun times with. I challenge my committed friends to find me a date. I’ll give anyone a chance (no serial killers please), and this summer I hope to have lots of fun with new people. Think about it. No one knows you better than your closest friends. I actually think this could be an interesting experiment. Can Kate make a relationship work? We shall see. Because my friends are all so different, I can’t wait to see the different types of men they come up with. And the added incentive is that if the date works out, the person that sets us up will be my top friend until the relationship goes down in flames. This is so much better than Match.com! So friends out there: I graduate June 13th. Start the search for Kate’s Date – that has a funny, reality show ring to it. I know my summer will be anything but boring.