My Hair Has Other Plans...

I have a wedding to get to, and my hair wants to crawl into bed. How do I fix this?! Countless magazines tell me that my hair is supposed to be bleached by the sun, wavy from the ocean water, and soft to the touch. I’m really not sure what I’m doing wrong. I have thick, colored from time-to-time, red hair that does not like to be straightened or curled. It is so fickle! My hair wants to be what I call “a lion’s mane.” It wants to air dry after a shower, grow four times normal size, and do nothing. I straighten my hair most of the time, and by the end of the night, there is so much “wave” occurring around my face that it goes into a pony tail two hours in. I'm beginning to believe my hair has a life of its own. A pony tail is equivalent to my bed...and that's where my hair wants to be at all times!

Tonight, I’m not having a straight problem, but a curl problem (See above photo!). My hair is not only thick, but long as well, and this presents the “cannot hold a curl” problem. I am attending a wedding on the beach (goodbye sexy hair!), and I thought curling my hair would be something different. Two hours before the wedding and my curls are disappearing before my eyes and turning into lumps of hair. There is no definition, zero style, and I now am pondering why I wasted my hour with two different barrel size curling irons and a straightener. I would love some of my beauty gurus out there – N, I’m talking to you! – to inform me of what I can do to get Taylor Swift curls. Loads of hairspray was used in the process, but there has to be something else. Any advice would be awesome.

It’s a shame I’m having these hair malfunctions, because I love weddings. I’m not quite at the age yet where weddings make me depressed, cynical, and angry because I was seated at the singles table. Give me another five years and I may have another opinion, but for now, weddings are a blast. I love seeing two people commit to one another in front of all of their friends and family, and an open bar is a great, added perk. I have never attended a beach wedding before. I have seen a few of them at work before, but I have never sat there and watched vows be exchanged in front of the ocean. I’m sure it will be a lovely event. I believe if people are going to have summer weddings, the beach is the only setting tolerable. Why else would you risk 93-degree weather (check!), 100% humidity (check!), and sunburns? There should at least be a pretty ocean view available to those attending July weddings. I promise all my friends and family: If I ever get married, and it happens to be in the summer, it will be located on the sand in front of the ocean. As for tonight, I’m hoping tons of make-up, more hairspray, and a little magic will help me look presentable in the next hour. Wish me luck! And I hope all of you have a fun Saturday night.