Oops, I Did It Again...

We’ve all done it – said something inappropriate to other people without thinking, sometimes hurting others inadvertently along the way. I’m the queen on sticking my foot in my mouth. I try hard to play in my head what my words will sound like once they come out through my lips, but too often they just flow out into the air in a steady stream of "She did not just say that." Sometimes, I realize right away what I have done, and other times it takes someone telling me my words hurt them to understand the extent of my perpetual need to state every single thing that flashes through my mind. Why are some of us so prone to word vomit? Are we just more opinionated or more stupid?

Yesterday, I ran into a former classmate who I hadn’t seen in years. He was with a young woman who looked very much like his former girlfriend who I also have not seen in years. I’m usually so good at not stating names if I’m not sure, but boy was I sure. There was no need to stop and say hi (I'm actually still holding onto a glimmer of hope that he did not recognize me), but the social girl inside of me could not help herself. The conversation went a little like this. Me speaking to former classmate’s friend: “Hi (name of ex-girlfriend). Former classmate: “That’s not (name of ex-girlfriend). Girl: “I’m not (name of ex-girlfriend). Me: “Oh I’m sorry, you look just like her (eep!). Both the girl and former classmate stare at me like I’m crazy. I state: “Well that was awkward. See you later.” And I walked away. No joke. This conversation really occurred. B (who hates awkward situations a million times more than I do (and I hate them) would have died if she had been present. By trying to fix the situation, I obviously made it worse. Who tells the new girlfriend she looks like the old girlfriend (even though she really did!)? I didn’t even realize what I was saying until the words came out. I spent the rest of my workday avoiding the two of them like the plague.

That has to be the worse case of speaking without thinking I have ever committed, and I’m curious to know if you have any good stories. I feel like my roommate L may have a few winners. I laughed off yesterday pretty well, because at the end of the day, I made a mistake – we all do that, but I would be upset to find out that I offended this young lady. Who wants to hear they look like the old girlfriend? Hurting her was, of course, never my intention, but it very well may have happened. I can’t tell you how many times I have blurted out words without thinking and offended others along the way. I also can’t tell you how many times others have blurted out words and offended me. I guess my open-ended question of the day is, “Should we censor ourselves?” I want to say no because I tend to believe that we should encourage everyone to speak what’s on his or her mind (I write a blog after all), but in reality, if we don’t censor what we say, people will get hurt (even if the statement is true). I have the friends who tell it like it is at all times, and I have the friends who never tell you the truth, because they fear hurting others. I’d say the former is more helpful. In a month, this former classmate will not recall what I said at work (hopefully!), and I’ll try harder to obey that age-old lesson of thinking before speaking. I’m also going to try to laugh things off more when people blurt out words to me…we are all human after all, and mistakes like these help us grow.