Religion: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

I will be the first to admit I am not the most ardent Catholic. Catholicism and I have had our issues. I like the idea of my religion – the large glamorous cathedral filled with people with similar beliefs saying the same words that have been said for hundreds of years (although now we say them in English, not Latin.) I like the idea of getting married in a large church with an officiating priest. I like the idea of giving my future children a moral foundation, a baptism, and a communion. I like the idea of eating the host every Sunday (although it always tastes like cardboard). Church always made me feel good when I left.

Then there are the things that create a wedge between Catholicism and myself. I don’t like the judgmental and discriminatory attitudes that the Catholic Church possesses. I don’t like how the church treats women and gays as secondary citizens. I don’t like how they do not allow their priests to marry (causing scores of abuse cases across the world.) I don’t like how the Pope decides every moral stance that “good” Catholics must abide by (Fun Facts: Did you know babies born via IVF cannot be baptized? Oh and birth control, while not completely accepted, is now slightly okay because of the AIDS epidemic.)

I am a very spiritual person. I do believe in God, and my God is a very loving, non-judgmental God who is forgiving of all of my bad choices and embraces my flaws. After all, God makes no mistakes, right Gaga? When I see all of the fighting and hatred plaguing this world in the name of God, it saddens me. God is about love, not hate. But it seems like religion has missed the mark. Catholics and Protestants are still killing each other in Ireland, Muslims hate the Jews, and the Westboro Baptist Church hates everyone, including dead soldiers and nine year-old girls. Where is the love, people?

With that said, I still get ashes on Ash Wednesday. Some would call me a “fair-weather” Catholic. You know who those people are – The Catholics that show up to church three times a year: Ash Wednesday, Easter and Christmas Eve/Day. Perhaps that is what I am, but I like the idea of Lent. I make sure I do not eat meat on Fridays (Does anyone else miss “Pizza Fridays” from when we were children?), and I give up something for 40 days in hopes that it will bring me closer to God. Usually I just give up chocolate or ice cream hoping I will also lose ten pounds in the process, but this year, I want to give up more substantial things. My goal is to find a way to merge the things I do appreciate about the religion I’m not sure I want to keep and the things that I believe all religions are lacking, but are necessary to making the world a better place. So during this Lenten season, I want to give up negative, hateful and judgmental thoughts, obsessive behaviors, and worries (unless truly justified). Maybe this can be like a “pay it forward” experiment. I will become more carefree and loving and those I encounter will go on and be the same. This is New York, so it may be a challenge (we thrive on cynicism), but at the end of my 40 days (and why stop there?), perhaps I’ll feel a deeper connection with God, my family, my friends and the world.